People Smarts

The Oops Factor

2011-10-24T12:17:00.001-05:00

“Confidence comes from not always being right, but not fearing to be wrong.” Peter McIntyre

To err is human. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Confidence comes from taking decisions. Understand that you made the best decision at that time based on the info at hand. With time, it might not have been the best decision. To err is human =).

The key is gaining wisdom through self-correction, not self-condemnation.

I am confident I am going to make a few more oops, the good news I will gain in humility and compassion.

Both are BIG factors for people smarts.

© 2011 Ellen Castro. All rights reserved.

Mid-Course Corrections

2011-07-12T11:35:00.001-05:00

“It is better to make a midcourse correction and suffer a little shame, than to wait too long and be humiliated by our stubbornness.” Boyd Bailey

Are there any midcourse corrections you need to make today?

© 2011 Ellen Castro. All rights reserved.

Time to Start Living and Be YOU!

2011-06-16T09:17:00.002-05:00

“It’s time to start living the life you imagined.” Henry James

It’s funny, the happier I am with my life, the more people smarts I have. Makes sense actually. I am not competing or comparing, instead I am being me. What a novel idea.

Have you considered living the life you want? Not the one you think you are suppose to want? Or others think you should have? Hmmm…

You become a miracle magnet when you listen to your dreams, your voice and are excited about being you!

Go for the gold! Go for greatness! Go for being you!

© 2011 Ellen Castro. All rights reserved.

YOU have the Power

2011-05-31T13:03:00.000-05:00

A blind person asked St. Anthony “Can there be anything worse than losing your sight?”

St. Anthony replied, “Yes, losing your vision.”

Have you lost sight of what you really want in life with all the external changes happening in our world? It is easy to play the victim and ask “why me?”

The truth is that change is inevitable and a constant. However progress is a choice. YOUR CHOICE.

Make change work for you. Take the opportunity to create the life you want with the disruption. See it as an opportunity not a problem. Your attitude will determine victim or victor not the external events.

Say YES to living your vision!

©2011 Ellen Castro. All rights reserved.

Being held hostage by bad decisions?

2011-05-26T11:55:00.002-05:00

“It is better to make a midcourse correction and suffer a little shame, than to wait too long and be humiliated by our stubbornness.” Boyd Bailey

I have observed as an executive coach that when a leader has the courage to make a midcourse correction they earn respect. People are relieved and chalk it up to being human. When they choose to “save face,” they actually lose their credibility due to the negative business impact.

There is a difference between having pride in your work and having too much pride.

Are you being held hostage by a bad decision?

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

BINGO!

2011-05-19T18:18:00.000-05:00

“Why would I compare or compete? It is so much simpler to be what I am.” Byron Katie

People smarts made simple.

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Which Are You?

2011-05-19T18:15:00.002-05:00

“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who walk into a room and say “here I am” and those who say “there are you.” Abigail Van Buren

Which person do you think has a more positive impact on the business long term? Hint: Which one do you think the customer prefers?

Everybody wants to be a somebody. Show them that they are! The essence of people smarts.

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Strength Re-defined

2011-03-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

“He who conquers himself is truly strong.” Lao Tzu

Truth as I see it.

A gentle reminder, there is no “them.”

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Yes You Can!

2011-03-08T09:52:00.000-06:00

Habits Re-visited

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” Benjamin Franklin

Call me a pit bull with lipstick :). I am living proof that one can change their lives dramatically by being conscious and choosing to replace self-limiting habits with healthy habits.

Take an inventory of your life. Be honest. Do people smile or grimace when they see you?

Once upon a time when I worked for Exxon, people ran the other way. Today people smile. The difference… me.

There is no “them.” Gulp.

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Quality Counts

2011-02-15T17:30:00.000-06:00

“Quality is not an act, it is a habit.” Aristotle

My responsibility as a coach and consultant is to exhibit quality and excellence - credibility. A habit I have developed is to reflect on the day. Based on my reflections, I determine what behaviors I need to do more, which ones I need to stop and which ones I need to start. I ask for forgiveness on the “oops” to re-gain my credibility.

Amazing, the quality of my work and my life has gotten better.

Are there any habits you can start to increase your quality and effectiveness?

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Winston Churchill Rocks!

2011-02-05T13:24:00.000-06:00

“By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed their stomach.” Winston Churchill

Words to live by.

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Happy Great Moments to YOU

2011-01-31T12:29:00.001-06:00

“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is key to unlocking your potential.”
Winston Churchill

I teach what I most have to learn, trust and people smarts . I remember the days people hid from me as I walked down the halls at Exxon. Every moment was an effort as I tried to succeed on my own… in spite of “them.” What I learned, self-effort is futile.

The more I have become conscious, kind and built trust with others, the better each moment gets emotionally, mentally and physically, too. It takes continuous effort for me not to slip into my self-defeating behaviors that sabotage me, my happiness and success… my trust quotient.

This is going to be my best moments ever! And it can be yours, too! Unleash more of your potential. Dare to be greater by: identifying 2 behaviors you will start, 2 behaviors you will stop and 2 behaviors you will continue to increase your trust quotient and SUCCESS.

Happy Great Moments to you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go for GREAT!

© 2011. All rights reserved worldwide.

Dare to be GREAT!

2010-12-30T10:16:00.002-06:00

Blessed is he who blesses his brother.” Baha’l

The executives I know that have sustainable executive presence are those individuals who are happy for others’ successes. They enjoy mentoring and coaching. They feel secure within themselves to share the limelight. They are willing to take a bullet for another. And by doing so, they become great.

2011 is full of possibilities for greatness. Dare to be great!

Happy New Yeat to you and yours!

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Give Good

2010-12-19T15:44:00.003-06:00

“All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” Christianity

Tis the season to be jolly. Open your heart… receive as you give. So give good. People smarts is actually quite simple.

May your week be filled with joy, peace and love as we remember the reason for the season.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Give Good

2010-12-19T15:44:00.002-06:00

Give Good

2010-12-19T15:44:00.001-06:00

Give Good

2010-12-19T15:44:00.000-06:00

Common Courtesy

2010-11-30T21:39:00.002-06:00

Common courtesy is not that common today. I did a poll of employees at 36 health plans. I asked the question, “What could management do to increase morale without costing money?” All 36 groups said, “common courtesy.” The examples they used were “good morning,” “please” and “thank you.” Wow.

People smarts is not that complex. Be kind.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is facing a hard battle.” Plato

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Thankful or Not?

2010-11-23T22:12:00.002-06:00

“What I’m thankful for on thanksgiving is that I’m not a turkey.” Timothy, age 6

There is always something for which to be thankful. List 10 now. Feel better?

Thankfulness is the quickest way out of a funk.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Be grateful for all you do have and it will be a blessed celebration.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Presence or Presents?

2010-11-13T22:34:00.001-06:00

“There is more to life than picking up speed.” Gandhi

The holidays are here. The pace picks up, the stress heightens. Breathe. Slow down.

People smarts is about presence, not presents. Being there, totally attentive, truly seeing and listening. The gift of a smile, a reassuring word or embrace. Which gifts changed your life?

Presence or presents?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Elvis and People Smarts

2010-10-31T11:59:00.001-05:00

“Everybody comes from the same source. If you hate another human being, you’re hating part of yourself.” Elvis Presley

God bless Elvis.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Encouragement and TRUST

2010-10-25T23:43:00.001-05:00

“Encouragement is oxygen for the soul.” Ruth Reed

I don’t care where you are in the “food chain,” encouragement feels good. From the claims processor to the executive, you’ve provided oxygen when you look into their eyes and give sincere support and encouragement.

with this simple gesture you build trust, gain people smarts and leave a lasting impression and legacy.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

People Smarts and Purpose

2010-10-16T20:06:00.000-05:00

“Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose.” Leonardo da Vinci

It seems lots of people are searching for a sense of significance and purpose in today’s crazy world. I’ll make this simple. We are here to serve. We either serve as a glorious example of the possibilities or as a role model for what not to do :).

Which example do you serve?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Held Prisoner or Free?

2010-10-10T12:34:00.001-05:00

“Give me the strength to be free.” Howard Thurman

For far too many years I have been held hostage by limiting beliefs and seeking external validation/approval. Having broken free from the chains, I can assure you it took a great deal of strength, courage and for many years, medication :).

With that said I am here and happy with nothing to prove. The irony is that there was never anything to prove, I was always worthy simply because I am. And so are you!

What’s holding you hostage?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Service or Manipulation?

2010-09-26T10:12:00.001-05:00

“Money does not make me. I make it.” Marcus, Self-described Terminix Bug Man

From my observations as a coach and consultant on 3 continents, it is impossible to have authentic people smarts and be greedy.

What's driving your behaviors?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Listening Re-visited

2010-08-30T21:01:00.002-05:00

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears.” Dean Rusk

People smarts and listening are inseparable. Listening and acting on the needs of others makes you a valuable commodity.

Listening is difficult. The mind thinks twice as fast as a person speaks. Distractions are the norm in a 24/7 world.

For effective listening:

• Be present. My trick is to silently repeat what the speaker is saying as they say it.

• Allow others to complete their thought before speaking. Unfortunately, I have on more than one occassion not solved the right issue by interrupting and attempting to solve the problem too quickly.

• Be aware of the tone and what is not being said in the body language.

• Listen more than you speak.

Why else do you think we were given two ears and one mouth?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

EVERYBODY Wants to Feel Significant

2010-08-23T08:48:00.001-05:00

“The public is merely a multiplied one.” Mark Twain

Everybody wants to feel significant, special. People smarts begins and ends with this reality. People smarts is not about you. It is about helping others to feel good about themselves and you.

To help fulfill the underlying needs of “everybody wants to be a somebody:”

• Show respect by exhibiting common courtesy which includes acknowledging their presence.

• Take the initiative to get their input and provide constructive and positive feedback.

• Give thanks and appreciation for contributing to your success.

• Let them know they make a difference. They matter.

Do people feel like super stars or mullets around you?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Legacies

2010-08-09T15:08:00.001-05:00

“Celebrate a life well lived and loved.” Roxann and Tony Garcia

I received flowers with this message. My priceless Mr. P, a remarkable friend and companion for 14 years went home. His mere presence brought love and joy.

What a legacy!

May my legacy be as wonderful.

What will yours be?

The choice is ours.

To Mr. P!

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Triggers and Hot Buttons

2010-07-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

“If people are troublesome, you have only to change your thought about them, and then they will change too, because your own concept is what you see.” Emmet Fox

Exhibiting people smarts 24/7 can be a challenge. There will be people and situations that trigger our hot buttons.

In these situations, breathe. Count to 10 or a hundred ten. The moment you lose control, is the moment your people smarts index plummets. The following actions can bring clarity and composure.

• Assume good intent until proven otherwise.

• Seek clarification non-defensively.

• Refuse to take everything personally.

• Recognize everybody is doing the best they know how in that moment, or they would handle it differently.

• Identify what belief is driving your intense reaction.

Are you reacting and losing your credibility or breathing and responding?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Energizer Bunny or Human Drano?

2010-07-21T10:56:00.002-05:00

“Every heart that has beat strong and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, has bettered the tradition of mankind.” Robert Louis Stevenson

People smarts is about how people feel in your presence. Do they feel motivated and inspired or discouraged and depleted?

People hire, promote and buy from motivated and motivating individuals.

People smarts basics:

• Know their name.

• Acknowledge their presence - a simple nod and a genuine smile count.

• Take mental notes of their interests and hobbies for the next time you connect to show you actually listened and were engaged.

Would your nickname be the energizer bunny or the human drano? The choice is yours and yours alone!

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Engaging the Mind AND the Heart

2010-07-14T14:07:00.001-05:00

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people.” Barbara Bush

People smarts would be easy if it weren’t for the people :). People smarts is not complicated. By engaging your mind AND heart, you engage others. Actions that reap rewards include:

• Be nice to everyone, it is a small world.

• Do what is honest and right consistently, even when no one is looking. Truth is someone is always looking.

• Give credit and sincere praise.

• Be a solution finder. Passing the blame never earned brownie points.

• Follow-through on your commitments. If you cannot, give an early heads up, an apology and tell them what you can do.

And it really helps if you can answer this question with a BIG yes... Do you like people?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Recieving Feedback Saavy

2010-07-07T14:34:00.000-05:00

“The best mind-altering drug is truth.” Lily Tomlin

Receiving feedback is a gift regardless of how it might feel. Receiving encouragement and praise for a job well done is heart warming. Constructive feedback instills a change in behavior. Criticisms suck, however they are a source of information. Information is power.

Keep your power and your cool by:

• Breathe. Count to 10 then breathe some more.

• Listen without making excuses or becoming defensive.

• Summarize what you have heard.

• Share your thoughts and feelings about the feedback.

• Discuss if appropriate.

• Say “thanks.”

Reflect on the feedback. There is usually at least a grain of truth amidst the criticism. Make changes as needed.

Do others sense they can give you feedback without invoking a reaction?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Communications and Consequences

2010-06-11T13:52:00.001-05:00

“Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.” Robert Louis Stevenson

People savvy individuals know that everything communicates. Everything matters. The words, the tone, the body language and the intent all count. While good intentions are great, actions speak louder than words.

Every communication triggers an emotional reaction. The emotions and feelings others have towards us impact our ability to motivate, influence and succeed. The emotional noise based on our perceived actions lurks in the background and make our communication easier or more difficult.

A quick and easy reality test for the emotions we have provoked is whether people smile or grimace when we approach or call, if they return emails on a timely basis.

Are your communications triggering enthusiasm, open-ness, commitment and trust or anxiety, self-protection, apathy and fear?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

The Team: Re-Defined

2010-06-08T20:31:00.001-05:00

“The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” John Wooden

Nothing great has ever been accomplished alone. Think about it.

The Wright Brothers needed each other and a cadre of others to make their dreams come true. Their dream coming true eventually resulted in the first man walking on the moon.

When people profess they are self-made millionaires, interesting. Who gave them their break? Did they not have people working in the background? The loan officer who was willing to take a risk? The grocer who had food on the shelves?

Truth is, even the self-employed are on a team with their customer, their suppliers and contractors and...

Perhaps it is time to be inclusive and think outside the box of 1.

Who is on your “team?”

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Balancing Act

2010-04-06T07:25:00.001-05:00

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling 5 balls in the air. You name them: Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you are keeping all of these balls in the air. You will soon understand that Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” Brian Dyson, former Vice-Chairman and COO of Coca-Cola

People smarts applies to all of life’s situations.

Listening to the calling within your heart is vital. If we are out of whack with ourselves, it is only logical we will be out of whack with others.

Take time to reflect... is your life in balance?

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Helping Others Helps You!

2010-03-29T09:12:00.000-05:00

“When I help others succeed, I succeed.” Ray Kroc, McDonalds

Who do you like helping succeed? Someone who only calls and is “nice” when they need something or someone who cares about you?

Who do you speak highly of? Someone who gives you credit or someone who takes the credit for your work?

Are people helping you succeed? The choice is yours!

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Listening and Motivation

2010-03-24T12:19:00.001-05:00

“Nature has given humanity one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus

I love this one!

If you are always speaking, how can you learn someone’s frame of reference and motivation? People smarts is about engaging others based on their needs and wants, not our wants and needs.

Motivation starts with them. You might assume they want a promotion when in fact all they want is to be heard and to know their opinion counts, a simple “thank you.”

Make your life easier. Talk with people, not at them. Listen.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Actions speak louder than words

2010-03-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

“Example is not the main thing influencing others. It is the only thing.” Albert Schweitzer

Actions speak louder than words.

Good intentions not delivered means squat.

Everything you do matters!

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Meaning is in People

2010-03-11T10:33:00.001-06:00

“There are no facts, only interpretations.” Nietzche

Meaning is in people. I believe that is what makes communications so much fun.

You actually have no clue how someone is going to respond to your communications. Have anyone of you thought to yourself, “I only said such and such. What is the big deal?” Well, it was to them.

A personal example, someone uses the word “aggressive” to describe me. They are smiling as though it is a good thing. I have to take a deep breath before responding. For me, “aggressive” means success at all costs. “Aggressive” was the word that once described me when I was fighting to survive as a female in a male-dominated oil industry in the ‘70s. Not a happy memory and not who I am today. Use the word “assertive” and I beam.

How would you know that was a hot button for me? You probably would not. That is why for people smarts, we need to notice the reaction we evoke with our communications.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Awareness and Change

2010-03-03T08:09:00.000-06:00

“Awareness is the prerequisite for change.” Joan Borysenko

Please be aware the next few meetings you attend and in general, when people see you do they smile or do they grimace? Are they engaged with what you have to say or rolling their eyes?

Please begin to notice the reaction when you make a call. When he/she hears your voice do they sound happy and energized? Or do you sense dread and impatience?

These are good reality checks for calculating your people smarts quotient and the need for change.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Enthusiasm and Greatness

2010-02-28T17:02:00.002-06:00

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today, great is the expected. It is all about doing more AND better all the time.

Are you excited about your work? Do you wake-up every morning and say “Yeah, I get to go to work?” Or do you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock?

This difference will make a huge impact on your ability to get things done through people. People can sense your attitude by your facial expressions and body language.

Are you lighting them up with motivation and enthsiasm? Or are you the wet match and extingushing their flame?

If you are the wet match, perhaps it is time to consider a change in positions.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Help Others for Success

2010-02-22T16:58:00.000-06:00

“Take care of your employees, and they’ll take care of your customers.” J.W. Marriott Jr., Marriott International, Inc.

This could easily read “take care of your colleagues and they’ll take care of you.” It is the informal networks of relationships based on trust that gets things done in spite of resource constraints.

People smarts take-a-way: Take care of others by serving their needs and they will help you succeed.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

Can people breathe around you?

2010-02-19T08:52:00.001-06:00

“Trust is like the air we breathe. When it is present, nobody really notices. But when it is absent, everybody notices.” Warren Buffett

I have observed that people tend to breathe freely around people they trust. People trust individuals who find reasons to give praise, show concern and give constructive feedback.

People hold their breath around people who tend to find fault, have to have the last word and are always right.

Do people breathe freely around you?

Or are they holding their breath?

It all begins with you.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

People Smarts Made Simple

2010-02-16T16:55:00.002-06:00

“A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.” Winnie-the-Pooh

People smarts made simple.

Just be kind.

It is a small world and getting smaller. You never know when your direct report could become your manager. When I worked for an oil company, the shoe shine man had more influence with the VP than his directors. The VP trusted him.

What goes around comes around... always.

© 2010. All rights reserved worldwide.

2010-02-16T16:55:00.001-06:00

Energizing People

2010-02-12T18:05:00.001-06:00

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, “Make me feel important.” Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” Mary Kay Ash, Mary Kay Inc.

Quite simply, you are in sales regardless of your position and everybody wants to be a some body.

People smarts is about how people feel in your presence.

Do they feel energized and inspired?

Or do they feel discouraged and lethargic?

The choice is yours!

2010-02-12T17:51:00.003-06:00

75% of Fortune 500 companies use emotional intelligence (EI) testing. EI now accounts for up to 69% of job performance success, while IQ is said to account for less than 6% of job success.

People Smarts: THE Advantage is emotional intelligence with heart. It is only when the mind and heart are engaged that people are engaged. It is only with the heart that knowledge and information becomes wisdom. People Smarts makes the business of people rewarding and fun. It is an awareness and approach that generates trust, commitment and collaboration thus maximizing results and your success.